I adore chocolate, I loathe chocolate.

Like any decent addiction, the craving for chocolate is a tangible and palpable yearning. I love the stuff. I love that first mouth-watering morsel that touches my tongue and melts slowly with a delicious, intense, rich lingering that overwhelms my senses. The sensation has me reaching for the next piece before the remnants of the first leave my palate. Right there is the problem, the reason I loathe the stuff. I cannot stop. If it’s in the cupboard, it has to be devoured. If it’s open, it has to be finished. No matter the size and no matter how ill I feel from self-induced chocolate overload.  I hate myself afterwards and my lingering thoughts of chocolate are definitely not the good lingering ones. And that after all, is exactly why it’s called an addiction.

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Oh, and did I mention that it makes me fat!

This cute little picture of the bunnies really should serve as a warning, “Listen to me” from the bunny with no ears, “it goes straight to your butt” from the second bunny. Not that it would make a difference mind you.

So which is it then? Love or hate? I can’t choose, it is both. It is a classic Juxtaposition. That love and hate. And I know it all too well…

Juxtaposition

“is the term which defines an act of placing a pair or even more things or ideas side by side usually in contrast or comparison.”

My life is made up of a whole collection of juxtapositions. In fact I am an enduring contradiction, a juxtaposition trapped in a paradox. No wonder I don’t know who the hell I am!

I am an introvert who avoids social gatherings with any possible excuse, yet I am a motivational and public speaker who loves to be on a stage.

I am a successful endurance triathlete, it’s a passion, but I have a passion antithesis. Bonsai, and have demonstrated all over South Africa sharing this passion.

I am a nerd trapped in an athletes’s body.

I am emotional, creative, an artist and a landscaper, but am extremely rational and pragmatic.

I am a people-pleaser of the worst kind, but hate being told what to do.

I am successful, but self-destructive.

I am fiercely independent, but I am needy.

I adore classical music, but can only listen to 5FM on the radio.

I am incredibly disciplined,  conversely I have terrible self-discipline.

I hate wearing a tie, but love how I feel in a tie.

I love working with my hands, but hate it when my hands are dirty.

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And so it goes on and on. No one box fits. Who am I, a chocolate lover or a chocolate hater?  Each one of the characteristics that together form Richard comes with positives and negatives. Yet I am not willing to let go of anything, it is who I am. I don’t know which box I fit into. What does that make me? Confused?

No. It makes me perfectly, beautifully normal, just like you. It’s our struggle, the daily warfare between the disparate sides making up our identities. It makes us who we are. And it makes us all exquisitely different. Celebrate your contradictions.

We don’t belong in a box. Hand me another chocolate bunny why don’t you.

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2 thoughts on “I adore chocolate, I loathe chocolate.

  1. Rosemary says:

    Chocolate is the answer – so why fight it! Happy Easter to you and the princesses.

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