This is my worst quality, but one of my best too… 

​My worst quality and greatest fault…I am…intense. Positioned on my tattooed right forearm, next to ‘grateful’ and ‘fallible’…and the word my eight year old daughter chose and wrote for me – But more about that in another post. 

‘Intense’ is awful, it means that it’s easy to live in your head. 

It means that you over analyse, you’re hyper sensitive, and that you see things many others don’t.  It means you are often too self aware, too self critical, and too intuitively conscious of other people. It means that you feel deeply, experience fully, and are prone to anxiety. 

You’re incredibly hard on yourself. 

You think too deeply when others see things and situations at face value. It means that you often have unrealistic expectations of others. 

Intense means that you don’t laugh at yourself enough, because you’re too busy berating your own faults. 

It means that criticism from others is a very tough thing to internalize. 

BUT….intense is also one of my greatest attributes…paradoxically for many of the reasons stated above, and for other reasons too… it means that I can understand others, feel and relate to their emotions. 

It means that I am a deep thinker and question life, I’m creative, that I can write, and paint, and express. 

It means that I can understand and speak of deep and vulnerable things that others can relate to but that not everyone can speak about to their closest circle, let alone to strangers.

It means that I am both my own worst enemy and my own best friend all rolled up into one. 

It is something my friends admire and love about me, but at the same time frequently despair about me. 

Some days I hate the gift…some days I am extremely grateful for the gift.

It is part of my human condition. It is a quality I need to temper and control so that it doesn’t control me. I know that as I continue to develop my sense of self worth I will feel the negative impacts less, as much of the behaviour lies in deep personal insecurities. 

It’s a constant and very real struggle, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

It is who I am. 

Why motivating others doesn’t work…does it?

If motivating people was truly successful I would be jobless. Let’s be honest, it doesn’t really work, does it?

Don’t get me wrong, I love my job and thrive on the feeling I get when I leave a room full of people with smiles on their faces and a sparkle in their eyes knowing that I have touched them in some way. Sometimes I struggle to see it as a job, and marvel that I get paid to do what I love.

clark-kent-superman-costume-plus-size

But the average motivational talk – no matter how good the motivator is – has a lifespan of anything between one hour and one week. That’s it.

The best motivators leave their audience feeling empowered to take on the world, change their lives for the better, and wage war on their fears and insecurities. From disempowered cubicle worker to superman in the blink of a keynote.

But ultimately nothing significant changes. Superman reverts to Dilbert in the blink of a report deadline and a phone call from the wife reminding him to get nappies and formula on the way home. Leaving little but the distant memory of a ‘feel good’ moment at the hands of a skilled motivator.

Sometimes we remember a thought or a line; sometimes we even make a conscious decision. But mostly we just enjoy the moment and the escape and smile inside – and isn’t that just fabulous!

The motivator is invited back, they loved him. “He’s Brilliant!” they say.

How brilliant is he if he has to go back!?

But the intention was never to transform an entire roomful of people into super-charged motivated-for-life energy bunnies. It was to plant seeds, challenge a way of thinking, inspire, provide smiles, and produce an odd ‘aha-moment’ or two.
A top up of the batteries as it were.

Self-sustained motivation comes from within. The truly motivated have an outlook, a demeanour, and an attitude that is different. They possess an energy that defies even the toughest personal hardships.

It is something that exists beyond the inevitable ups and downs of a life, like an undercurrent that flows regardless of circumstance. It seems to be an infinitely renewable resource. A sense of purpose even.

Mostly it starts with a decision. A choice to be positive. Happiness is a choice too. Understanding what makes you happy and making sure that those things are celebrated every day will go a long way to making you feel motivated.

Once in a while, one person sitting in the audience somewhere feels a little seed grab hold in fertile conditions that just happened to be right on the day. The message was congruent with their personal journey, and a life-altering moment is experienced.

The average fully grown tree produces approximately 750 000 seeds every year. Out of all of those seeds, 20 to 30 find conditions to begin life. Only one of those little seedlings might make it to maturity.
The entire process, the full season, was worth it if only one new tree can grow and become everything its DNA intended it to be.

Yup, let’s get him back.